"The Tale of the Goldfish" in a new way with humor for adults
“The Tale of the Goldfish” in a new way with humor for adults
“The Tale of the Goldfish” in a new way with humor for adults:
INTRODUCTION:
One day the grandfather came ashore to catch some fish for lunch. He wanted some fish. After all, the teeth had been gone for a long time.
Gums don’t chew meat. And where can I get meat here? Only a broken trough From the farm and a clamp.
Having wet my feet in the sea, having sworn at my entire fate, I threw the net with all my might and bent over like a tripod.
The net is pulling. Nothing. Knowing is not an easy hand. You need to throw it further. Yes, your foot slides along the bottom.
He tried again. This time it was a bummer again. I was waiting for him with the loot. There was a lump in my throat.
He gathered all his strength. He threw it and screamed hoarsely. He tried so hard that he created bubbles in the water in a circle.
Surprised all the cormorants! The net quietly dragged. He saw that there was prey in the net. He almost swam with happiness.
What a miracle! Grandfather looks at The fish is burning with gold There is a crown on its head In the image there is an arrogant look.
Grandfather was a little upset - Yes, fate is not easy. For the fourth attempt, I have no strength at all.
This fish, no more than half a bag of perch, But this one only has a crown and a bony head.
Okay, to hell with it. A golden head will be enough for the fish soup. I’ll slam the moonshine in the ear out of grief and melancholy.
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
The fish suddenly shook all over - Old man, let me go. For such a service I will reward you with gold.
There at the bottom, there is a fuss of its own. The eldest there, in general, I. Again, my family is worried about me.
If I've been gone for a long time, then that's IT! Maybe something will happen in power, even though it is the seabed.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
The grandfather grunted into his fist, looked from under his brows, said: “No, this kind of division cannot be resolved on dry ground.”
My head is empty in the morning. Now there would be half a hundred grams of vodka. That's it! Look, kindness will wake up in my heart.
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
- Everything will be fine now! Why are you wilted? A table suddenly appeared with a snack. “Let’s drink and let’s solve my question, old man.”
The sun is drying my cap. The gills are covered in dry wood. Yes, your gas is still the same... I feel it’s about to go away.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Grandfather clanged the dishes, slammed the vodka, and blushed. I looked at the eggplant caviar with suspicion.
Damn you sea creature. I don't need a gold chest. I don’t profit from trouble. Tea is a fisherman, not a sovereign!
He turned the net out and shook it. He dipped the fish into the water, cried goodbye and waved his hand.
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
The fish surfaced - “Well, old man, if such a situation has arisen between me and you, call me, I’ll come to the cry.”
May there always be food and drink here for you. Okay, that's enough, I'm chatting. Come, trouble will come.
Grandfather stood for a while, took the net on his chest, grabbed the net, took the bottle, and hobbled home.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
At home grandma: What a blockhead? Did you sit on the glass again? He said he was going fishing, but he was just completely drunk.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Tsyts, you old hag, your head hurts. Yes. Fishing is unsuccessful. No, there are no fish.
Don't yell like that. I'm not drunk. I drank a glass out of grief. And Grandma sat down on the sofa about everything.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
An old drunkard is one thing. It’s not funny to me anymore, I need to get so drunk Miracle, let him go to the bottom!
The house has long since rotted to the ground. There are only rubles in the wallet. There are radishes and pumpkins in the garden and a clearing of hemp.
Blow to the fish, let's run And don't ask for a new home. The bandits have a lot of money. I want to be! Over the common fund!
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
For a long time I heard a cry. The old man walking ashore kept thinking and thinking about one thing. Damn, he lost his tongue again.
A wave splashes on the sea. He shouted “Fish.” Here she is. - Hello old man, what happened? - Grandma was eaten by Satan.
The scream is standing under the ceiling, Waving her fist angrily, She wants to be in charge Above the bandit common fund.
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
Well, grandfather, I just made you laugh. You wouldn’t rush with desire. Well, if I really need it, I’ll do it. Once I decided so.
The fish disappeared, the wind died down. Grandfather stood for a while and hobbled home, Expecting a scandal there.
He walked, already sweating from fear, and when he got there he was so stunned. The hut was gone, he saw a huge cottage on a hillock.
He came closer, There was a barrier in front of the gate, In the courtyard a gang of bandits bowed to Grandma.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Grandfather called out: “Hey, relatives!” Have you forgotten about me? New house, I see a gate. Not a gate, but armor!
The grandmother looks sideways and doesn’t order us to touch it at all, but in her mouth the rubbed Randole tooth glistens.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
Why did you stop there, grandfather? I didn’t invite you for tea or lunch. We are now divorced. Ali understand? Is Ali not there?
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Grandfather to her: - Old woman, what are you doing? Give me some felt boots and a coat. I'll move in with my neighbors, no one will drive me away, tea.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
Babaka: - You must be stupid! Now you will have a sheepskin coat! You pray that tomorrow no one will find your corpse in the river.
TIME HAS PASSED...
What can I say? Master thief! How can there be an argument with her? He quietly hid with his neighbors with his grandmother, remembering the conversation.
A year has passed, another is coming. A big crowd of bandits in black cars are going to grandpa, Grandma demands to go home!
They dragged grandfather into the house, urging him on with his boot, In the house the grandmother was shaking all over, Like an aspen petal.
Instead of fur coats - a bulletproof vest. Holds a black pistol, Behind the window is a missile launcher.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
Come in, my dear, and close the door tightly. I feel like Satan here in God’s temple.
I'm tired of everything like this: the shooters, the thieves' common fund, and the eternal cop's cap weighs on my brain.
They're blocking you, you can't leave! Don't pass, don't pass. Not today, tomorrow they’ll catch you And... Bon voyage!
Bring bones to the fish, Beg or ask... I have one desire: To be the main one, in all of Rus'!!!
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
There was nothing to do, the old man hung his head and trudged sadly to the sea. The fish swam to the cry.
Hello old man! What's in sadness? If I offended you, forgive me, Or is grandma nagging again? Don't talk muddy.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
I guessed right. Yes she. So fed up, Satan. She wants the whole country to cave in before her!
Fish - I wish she could find some brains! Don't be afraid to go home, go. I’ll do as grandma wants, since there is no other way.
WAY HOME…
The old man bowed to her. The fish suddenly disappeared in an instant. The old one trudged home to look at grandma’s face.
Look, the Red House is right on the way, you can’t get around it. There is only one gate in the house. Security guards cannot enter them.
The grandmother sees upstairs and waves her hand. All covered in fur! And he yells: “Get out of here!” All! Let's! Merci baku!
There is nothing to do, again Grandfather found a place to spend the night. Every day he goes to the sea, eats and drinks there.
TIME HAS PASSED...
A year has passed, another has passed. Grandma's servants rolled up to grandpa again. Grandma is waiting for her home.
They drag him to grandma’s palace, saying to him: “Father, you’d better not resist, otherwise we’ll all be finished!”
The grandfather runs after the servants and is trembling all over with fear. In the palace, in the huge hall, Grandma circles like a raven.
All in furs and all in silks In fashionable horn-rimmed glasses, Rings on every finger And bracelets on the hands.
Finally the old man came. Then the following question arose. I'll ask everyone to leave! The servants ran away instantly.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
I made the most of it here. Respected by the whole country For whom I want - I am an angel, For whom I am Satan.
Yes, now I have money, But such fear pierces me They threaten me when there is war on land or on the seas.
Here I can no longer be constantly on guard. Only they will add poison to the food, Or they will trip me up.
I don’t want, maybe, I just want to share my power with black, yellow or red. I know how we can continue to live!
Let's go to the fish, grandfather. If she refuses, give her a frying pan. I'll find a loaf of bread too.
And MY desire is to be the first on the whole Earth!!! Peace, I want a crown to put on my head
And so that people do not curse, they worship as best they can, exactly what kind of deity or miracle of the whole Earth.
Yes, so that your fish will do for me whatever I say and wish, even if it’s bullshit!
All. Come on, go old man, just come back in a moment. If you don’t fulfill it, you’ll regret that you were born at all.
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Blowing with an old pipe, Cursing life, the old man dragged himself to the sea. - Fish! Where are you? It's me!
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
- Hello old man! What are you yelling about? You can't save your throat like that. I told you I’ll be there if you just call me.
Why are you sad? Can't live enough? Something happened, maybe an attack? How's your old grandmother? Have you played enough with power?
WORDS OF AN OLD GRANDFATHER
Where exactly! An oar in her liver. The grandmother just suffered. She wants peace, you see, to place the crown on her forehead!
Drank. He sobbed bitterly. He told everything about the scandal and what the grandmother said, word for word.
WORDS OF GOLDFISH
Okay old man, serves it right. Since such a bummer I’ll help, no one will touch Even grandma’s bone breaker.
Don't be sad, don't be sad, come to the shore, eat, drink. Just never bring your grandma!
EDUCATING ENDING
She only waved her tail. Grandfather remained under the umbrella, thinking about the meaning of life, what is where, how and what next.
I walked home, carried by my foot. On the hill - nothing. A house, a broken trough, and a silent hag!
"The Tale of the Goldfish" in a new way with humor for a fun time
“The Tale of the Goldfish” in a new way with humor for a fun time
“The Tale of the Goldfish” in a new way with humor for a fun time:
INTRODUCTION
An old man lived with his old woman in an emergency dwelling by the sea. Grandfather fished (all the time under the fly), Grandma also drank heavily out of grief.
And also, depressed by everyday life, having drunk heavily, the grandmother loved to beat Grandfather! Especially the trough. She broke the whole trough on her grandfather.
Grandfather, as soon as the bruises healed and the black eye turned yellow, he set off to catch an evil fish. To keep her dry - the infection!
She mocked me as best she could (the brute!) without risking anything at all, either slimy mud or sea grass into Grandfather’s net.
The poor grandfather swore, spat, and tore his vest in his heart in his heart, But the evil one did not give up in the fight with the fish. Let her have a stick of dynamite on her tail!
The checker, by the way, is an excellent means of committing atrocities against herrings. If it weren’t for Rybnadzor next door, If... not for the article - Poaching...
Driving away, with melancholy, these thoughts, out of spite to the heartless herrings, Grandfather cast his nets again and one day he was lucky!
GRANDFATHER'S WORDS
Grandpa’s face was twisted into a smile: “Who’s struggling there, gasping for air? Really! Can't be! FISH! Not a simple one at that - “golden!”
FISH WORDS
Only a fish with sadness in its eyes, with golden scales on its side, - “Let me go, old man, into the sea!” - suddenly said tenderly to the old man.
GRANDFATHER'S WORDS
- “I’ve been fishing in the sea for thirty years” - The old man was frightened and surprised - “But I haven’t caught talking fish. Have you really drunk yourself into a fever?”
FISH WORDS
- “Don’t throw me to the fierce cat (The cat was fishing with her grandfather in the boat) Let me go...” the little fish begged. “Darling, I’ll give a ransom for myself...”
HEAVY THOUGHTS...
The grandfather was confirmed in his guess, the old man’s hands began to shake. The grandfather looked sideways at his cat - “We were fishing, they say, here are the glitches!”
Murka, to her grandfather’s joy, remained silent. But the fish are back to their own! Let go! And... he rowed to the pier, without demanding a ransom from her.
WORDS OF THE OLD WOMAN
The old woman met my grandfather at home, immediately gave him a portion of “affection”, shining her fist into the grandfather’s ear. - “If it weren’t for you, we would have lived like in a fairy tale!” —
- “I mean... uh...” Grandfather did not understand the hint. - “Our Murka gave you up to me, you bastard!” — The old woman cruelly extinguished the stub of a cigarette butt on her grandfather’s forehead...
NOT THE MOST FUN RESULT
Grandfather loomed near the shore for a day - Called the fish, roared like a beluga, Alarmed the entire fishing village... - “Look, how crazy you are, drunkard!” —
The fish at the bottom of the sea was surprised, But did not respond to the roar, Because it was very cunning, And I read Pushkin as a child.
