School conflicts: types, solutions, techniques and examples

Parent meeting “Learning to communicate without conflicts”

Psychologist's advice

Parent meeting “Learning to communicate without conflicts”

All diseases are caused by nerves...

(Folk wisdom)

Conflicts

- this is a dispute, quarrel, scandal in which the parties do not skimp on mutual reproaches and insults. The worst thing about conflict is the feelings that people have for each other. Fear, anger, resentment, hatred are the main feelings of conflict.

Life is not possible without conflicts; you need to learn how to resolve them constructively. In order to learn how to resolve a conflict situation, you need to learn to understand the scale and details of disagreements and discuss them openly. Smoothing out a conflict situation and avoiding resolving it can lead to much more serious problems:

• physical problems related to health;
• psychological problems (withdrawal into one’s own mental pain, changes in a person’s character, mental disorder, suicide, etc.);
• social problems (loss of family, divorce, loss of job, loss of self).

The main ability in conflict is the ability to confront and explain. This is a skill:

• defend your position openly, “face to face”;
• evaluate the conflict situation itself, its content, and not the human qualities of your partner;
• preserve the personal relationships of all parties to the conflict.

Causes of conflicts between parents and teenagers

Teenagers in conflict:

• adolescence crisis;
• desire for independence and self-determination;
• demand for greater autonomy in everything from clothing to space;
• the habit of conflict, brought up by the behavior of adults in the family;
• flaunting a teenager’s rights in front of his peers and people in authority.

Parents in conflict:

• reluctance to admit that the child has become an adult;
• fear of letting the child out of the nest, lack of faith in his strength;
• projecting the child’s behavior onto himself at his age;
• struggle for one's own power and authority;
• lack of understanding between adults in raising a child;
• disconfirmation of parental expectations.

There are several reactions to conflicts. Let's look at them.

Ambition reaction

Having received information that gives weight to another person, a person immediately tries to downplay the importance of this information, trying to emphasize his own importance in the eyes of other people.

Complacency reaction

The desire to brag about your capabilities or privileges, achievements, while observing the reactions of other people. Getting joy from other people's envy.

Envy reaction

A person achieves success, another “gets sick” from his success and achievements. He believes that the success of another is possible only after the success of himself.

Schadenfreude reaction

A person rejoices when someone feels bad. Often he does not hide his feelings.

Capture reaction

The desire to take credit for the merits of another person at any cost, despite one’s own real merits.

Reaction of aggression

A person uses threats and rudeness to achieve a goal. This is typical of people who are ambitious and insensitive to the suffering of others.

Appropriation reaction

Overprotection or clinging to a person to achieve one's goals.

Reaction of indifference

A fearless attitude towards the physical and mental suffering of another person.

Psychologist's advice to parents: “Six recipes for getting rid of anger”

CONFLICT PREVENTION TECHNOLOGY

1. Changes in your attitude to the situation and behavior in it.

— The ability to determine what has become common before the conflict, and to “return” from the pre-conflict situation to normal interaction, rather than going into conflict.

— A person’s ability to understand an interaction partner and not enter into conflict if there is no confidence that the partner’s motives are correctly understood.

— Tolerance of dissent.

— A person’s concern for reducing his relatively stable anxiety and aggressiveness.

— Manage your current mental state, avoid pre-conflict situations when overworked or overexcited

— When communicating with others, you need to be internally prepared to solve emerging problems through cooperation, compromise, avoidance or concession.

— When communicating with a partner, it is advisable to smile at least occasionally.

— You don’t need to expect too much from others.

— Communicate with people, showing sincere interest in your communication partner.

— Conflict resistance is a person’s ability to maintain constructive ways of interacting with others despite the influence of conflict-generating factors.

- Don't forget about your sense of humor.

1. Ways and techniques of influencing the opponent’s behavior.

— Don’t demand the impossible from those around you; keep in mind that their abilities for different types of activities are different.

- Do not try to quickly, radically, through direct influences, re-educate a person.

— In the process of communication, it is important to assess the current mental state of the partner and avoid discussing acute problems if the likelihood of an aggressive reaction on his part is increased.

— Assessing the current mental state of a communication partner is facilitated by knowledge of the laws of nonverbal transmission of information through facial expressions, gestures, posture, and movements.

— An effective way to prevent conflicts is timely information to others about the infringement of your interests.

— In relation to protecting your interests, you can take a fairly firm position and defend them stubbornly. In relation to the opponent himself, his personality, it is advisable to take as soft a position as possible.

— When discussing a problem, it is important not to interrupt your opponent, but to let him speak out.

— It is advisable to inform people as early as possible about your decisions that affect their interests.

— To prevent conflicts, it is important not to expand the scope of opposition with an opponent, not to increase the number of problems discussed, and not to criticize the personal qualities of a communication partner.

- “Don’t drive your opponent into a corner.”

— Establish informal, personal contact with your interaction partner.

— In the process of communication, it is advisable to avoid extreme, cruel, categorical assessments of any aspects of the problems under discussion, especially the position and personality of the partner.

1. The psychology of constructive criticism.

What should you do before criticizing?

— Find out whether it is possible to correct the matter without criticism.

— Determine who benefits from the presence of shortcomings.

— Determine the purpose of criticism. (Criticism is not an end in itself, but a means of improving life.)

- Find out the attitude of the person being criticized towards his mistakes: perhaps this will already be sufficient to correct the matter.

- Know how the person being criticized usually reacts to criticism, and choose the form of criticism accordingly.

- Know exactly what happened and what the consequences of poor performance are.

— There should be no closed areas or inviolable persons for critical analysis.

- Listen to the position of the person being criticized to the end.

— State your understanding of what you will criticize.

MINI-WORKSHOP.

From all of the above, a conclusion follows that confirms popular wisdom: indeed, psychological discomfort significantly undermines health. And we (and children!) live in an age of stress - this is the price to pay for progress... Where is the way out, where is the light at the “end of the tunnel”?

Let's leave the philosophical part of the question to the powers that be. And yet, much in resolving this issue depends on you and me, because children are entirely dependent on us, parents and educators. What could we do now to ensure emotional well-being and psychological comfort for children?

Today we talked about the fact that a child’s health depends not only on proper nutrition, a reasonable daily routine and exercise. Having revealed the importance of a child’s emotional well-being in preserving and strengthening his health, we invariably come to the conclusion that only through joint efforts can we solve this difficult problem.

Eight recipes for increasing self-esteem for parents

A favorable psychological climate in the family contributes to the harmonious development of the child’s personality and reduces the level of anxiety.

Parents should communicate with their children as much as possible, organize joint holidays, trips to the zoo, the theater, and exhibitions. And for residents of big cities, it is advisable to go out into nature more often.

Since anxious children often have a need to love and caress someone, it would be nice to have their own animals at home: a cat, a dog, a hamster or a parrot.

Caring for your beloved pet together will help build a partnership in the form of cooperation between parents and child.

Parents of anxious children will benefit from relaxation exercises. Performing these exercises together with children helps not only to physically relax the body, but also to strengthen the trusting relationship between an adult and a child.

Parent meeting on the topic: “Conflicts with your own child and ways to resolve them”

III . Ways to suppress anger and emerging aggression

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The state of anger, which almost always accompanies conflict, is not only emotional, but also biochemical in nature. In this state, adrenaline enters the blood, causing consistent physical reactions: the heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and a surge of energy is felt in the muscles. In a matter of seconds, a person goes into a state of readiness to respond to an alarm. It is very important to understand that this phenomenon is an involuntary reaction that occurs regardless of a person’s desire. At the same time, she is subject to conscious control on his part. Some people are better at self-control and self-restraint than others, depending on their temperament, level of maturity and responsibility.

Some psychologists are inclined to believe that anger, which is a motivator of conflicts, needs to be “released” and expressed to each other in verbal form. They argue that from a physiological point of view it is harmful to suppress, to try to hold back any strong feeling or experience. If a person “drives” a feeling of anger deep into himself, then this may turn out to be unsafe for the human psyche. However (and this is even said in one of the biblical commandments) there is no need to rush into its manifestation.

The famous psychologist Dr. Dobson offers the following ways to suppress anger and aggression:

•Explain the nature and causes of your negative emotions to a third party who is known for his ability to understand other people, that is, someone who could give you advice and correct your actions.

• Treat the person who has irritated you with his behavior with understanding. Try to put yourself in his place and feel his experiences.

•Try to understand the motive behind the person’s behavior.

•It's difficult, but try responding with kindness to someone's hostility.

IV . Conclusion.

At the end of the meeting, I offer you some, in our opinion, valuable advice to help you find constructive ways out of the conflict.

Memo “Rules of communication in case of conflict with a child”

Being in a listening position:

- show tolerance: do not interrupt the child, do not interfere; before you say something, think carefully, make sure that this is exactly what you want to say; remember that your task as a listener is to help the child express his problems;

- do not evaluate your child: if you evaluate his feelings, he will become defensive or contradict you; try to really understand the child;

- do not give advice: remember that the best solutions in a conflict are those that the participants come to themselves, and not those that someone suggested to them; It is often difficult to resist the urge to give advice, especially when the child can count on it from the very beginning - but still let the child do enough mental work to independently find a way out of a difficult situation.