Conflict situations in the teaching staff of preschool educational institutions

Why do quarrels arise?

Depending on the age of the participants, children's conflicts can have different causes. If, for example, we talk about 2-3 year old children, then they quarrel mainly because they do not want to share toys. In addition, tears and crying can occur if someone breaks someone's turret or tramples a little Easter cake in the sandbox. Not yet having sufficient skills to express thoughts and emotions, children begin to fight and become hysterical. Such actions are aimed at attracting the attention of adults to what happened. The kids want to be pitied.

Growing up, every child has more developed speech than before and is able to better express his thoughts. However, the controversy does not stop. They often quarrel over playing games together. Someone doesn’t want to play with someone else, or one refuses to adapt to the other. By the age of 4-5, they conflict over what the rules of the game should be, the plot, and who will play what role in the game.

Children's conflicts at the age of 4-5 are almost always associated with play. Games and their rules are becoming more complex, and everything cannot be solved through compromises. Quarrels arise both during game planning and during the game actions themselves.

It is still difficult for children under 5-6 years old to deal with their emotions and desires. Therefore, they pay little attention to what others want and do not understand that this is important for their peers. Difficulties in relationships are also caused by the fact that guys are unable to put themselves in the place of another and understand his feelings. Preschool children will stand their ground until the last moment; they will not listen, trying to out-shout each other.

All the described reasons for disagreements are explained by undeveloped communication skills. All this can be taught to children. However, the result will be positive only with the joint efforts of parents and kindergarten workers.

Methods for resolving conflicts

In some cases, it is easier to prevent conflict situations than to find a way out of an already heated dispute. However, sometimes it is impossible to even guess about the flaring confrontation between the kids. In this regard, child psychologists recommend that educators and parents try to build the necessary model of behavior to resolve the problems that have arisen.

Adults should always be attentive and monitor the little ones during their fun. If the teacher notices that the child was pushed or something was taken away from him, then you can contact the offender with a request for an apology. If a toy was taken away, you need to explain to the offender that he did wrong and must return what does not belong to him. It is imperative to find out the reasons for disagreements between children. To do this, it is necessary that the parent or teacher contact them with a request to share their emotions and experiences.

To help children learn to think about their actions, you can ask the following questions:

• Why did you quarrel?
• Have you tried to resolve the dispute yourself?
• What could have been done to prevent a quarrel?
• What should each of you do so as not to offend your friend, but at the same time get what you want?
• If this situation arises again, what will you do?

To keep conflicts to a minimum in kindergarten, some effort must be made. In this case, fairy tales and cartoons are very useful. An example of the behavior and actions of your favorite hero will not go unnoticed. The kids will certainly imitate him, thus learning how to properly get to know each other and find a common language with their peers.

It is important to teach the baby to correctly defend his point of view in controversial situations. It should be said that insults and hurtful words will not help solve the problem. By offending a friend, you can only worsen the situation. The more correctly a child fights for his opinion, the more his self-confidence will increase.

You need to start working on your child’s behavior as early as possible. If, starting from 2-3 years old, you constantly focus on this, then by the age of 4-5 years they will be able to independently, without the help of adults, resolve conflicts peacefully. In case of conflicts at this age, the teacher can intervene only in case of “psychological attacks”: the children scream, stomp their feet, but do not explain anything. However, during this age period they still get into verbal fights.

Conflict at 5-6 years of age consists of using threats against a friend. Threats usually have the following meaning:

• I'll tell the teacher everything!
• I won't play with you!
• I don't want to be friends with you!

Older preschoolers are already beginning to use logical justifications: “I want it too!”, “I am a driver and know how to drive a car!” etc. They are already familiar with many rules of behavior and try to use them: “You need to share!”, “You need to be polite!” Teasing and calling each other names is also common.

Conflict "Teacher-parent". Causes and solutions

Bibliographic description:

Pyrgaeva, K. M. Conflict “Teacher-Parent”. Causes of occurrence and ways out / K. M. Pyrgaeva, T. A. Vyatkina. — Text: direct // Questions of preschool pedagogy. — 2020. — No. 2 (29). — P. 40-42. — URL: https://moluch.ru/th/1/archive/155/4808/ (date of access: 10.10.2020).


The full upbringing of a preschooler occurs under the simultaneous influence of the family and the preschool institution. Therefore, the task of preschool teachers is to ensure that parents become active helpers and like-minded people in the educational process. However, there are times when the parties cannot find a common language and it comes to conflict.

What is conflict? The word "conflict" in Latin means "clash". Conflicts are a dispute, a quarrel, a scandal in which the parties do not skimp on mutual reproaches and insults. The worst thing about conflict is the feelings that people have for each other. Fear, anger, resentment, hatred are the main feelings of conflicts. Life is impossible without conflicts; you need to learn to resolve them constructively.

What are the reasons for conflicts between teachers and parents? Why do parents and educators often simply not know how to listen to each other and stand on opposite sides of the barricades?

The causes of the conflict are different: discrepancy between the goals of teachers and parents, insufficient awareness of the parties about the event, incompetence of one of the parties, low culture of behavior, etc.

Let us list the reasons for the emergence of conflicts on the part of parents, which are often encountered in our practice:

– little work is done with the child in the garden;

– do not create the proper conditions for strengthening his health;

– cannot find an approach to the child;

– use non-pedagogical methods in relation to the child (moral and physical punishment);

– they don’t look after the child well (they didn’t wipe the sniffles, didn’t change the dirty T-shirt);

– the child is forced to eat or is not ensured that he eats everything;

– restrict the child’s freedom;

– often punish and complain about the child if his behavior does not suit the teachers;

– do not take action against hyperactive and aggressive children, especially if their child has been bitten, hit, or scratched.

And although this list is far from complete, it shows that parents make a huge number of demands on the kindergarten and on the teacher in the first place.

Of course, educators also have “their own list” of complaints against parents:

– treat kindergarten staff with disrespect and may express their position in raised voices in front of the child;

– they forget to pay receipts or pay fees for additional classes on time;

– they forget to put a change of clothes in the children’s locker;

– children are brought to kindergarten completely unprepared (without basic self-care skills, not accustomed to the kindergarten’s daily routine);

– children are picked up late;

– they raise children poorly (they pamper them excessively or, conversely, do not pay due attention to the child; usually it is very difficult to find an approach to such children);

– make unreasonable claims to staff, find fault with little things.

The “teacher-parent” conflict usually assumes a “boss-subordinate” type of conflict, which determines the teacher’s behavior as an accusing party. If earlier this situation suited both sides, now parents strive to prevent pressure on themselves from the kindergarten workers. Therefore, in order to avoid deepening and expanding the conflict situation, it is advisable for us, teachers, to understand and put into practice the line of partnership interaction “on equal terms.” Don't try to dominate at all costs.

Often the complaints expressed by the teacher towards parents are vague and not specific. Simultaneously expressing many complaints will give parents the impression of guilt in everything that happens around them, and they will begin to make excuses even for what they are not accused of. Therefore, there is no need to expand the subject of the quarrel, the cause of discontent.

If a person makes grievances, claims, or disagrees with something, it means that he expects the other side to listen to him and change his behavior. Therefore, the teacher should develop the attitude that parents always have some reason for complaint, dissatisfaction and express them not for the sake of pleasure (which, of course, happens with a troublemaker), but because something weighs them down, makes them worry, suffer. . We, teachers, need to treat the initiator of the conflict fairly and impartially.

Often the emotional tone of the teacher’s conversation with parents leads to conflict: categorical statements, raised tone. Naturally, such tactlessness, and sometimes even rudeness, will cause a response from parents: as they say, “sow the wind, reap the storm.” The correct action on the part of the teacher would be a calm, friendly, confident tone in response to the violent reaction of the parents. We must be able to restrain our emotions and not transfer a business conflict to a personal level, not affect our parents’ self-esteem, and show emotional restraint.

If a parent makes a claim and a conflict situation arises on this basis, the teacher must propose a way to resolve it, eliminate the reason that caused disagreement or dissatisfaction on one of the parties. This could be assistance, partial concession, mitigation of demands. The most effective ways to resolve conflict are cooperation and compromise. It is very important to be able to negotiate and find ways out of various situations.

Is it possible to reduce conflicts to a minimum? It is possible if we, teachers, follow the following rules:

The first is to inform parents, even before their children enter preschool, about what will happen there, not only in terms of timetables and routines, but also in terms of relationships and pedagogical influences. For this purpose, we are holding an introductory meeting for parents of newly admitted children to the preschool educational institution; we recommend visiting the kindergarten’s website for more detailed information about the preschool educational institution.

The second is to show parents how to “painlessly” resolve conflicts if they arise. We explain that all conflicts must be resolved directly in the preschool educational institution, without resorting to higher authorities. You can create a special reminder in addition to the parental agreement. It may contain, for example, the following words: “In our kindergarten it is not customary to sort out the relationship between the teacher and the parent in the presence of children,” “In our kindergarten it is not customary to make comments to other people’s children in the absence of their parents and to sort out children’s quarrels without the participants in the conflict.” . If you “prescribe” these rules and introduce them to parents in a timely manner, then many conflicts simply will not arise.

Third, teachers should learn to convey information correctly to parents. For example, when reporting something negative about a child, always start with a positive review and only then formulate the problem: “Your Petya drew well today, he is wonderful, but there is one side that worries me very much. You know your child better, maybe you can advise me something in this regard. I notice that he often hits Katya, what do you think this might be connected with? Let’s think together about what’s going on here and how to help him...”

This is a position of cooperation, communication as equals, addressing the parent as a knowledgeable and competent person. Very important in communicating with parents is the formation of the “WE” system as an orientation toward common goals in the upbringing and development of children.

Fourth, an experienced, wise teacher simply “forgets” about conflicts. We must greet our parents with a smile, kindly and be sure to address them by their first and patronymic names.

Fifth, learn to wait a pause before giving an answer or expressing your opinion - this will allow you to think about your reaction and reduce emotional stress.

Sixth, be sure to include conflicting parents in creative activities (creativity reveals the best aspects of a person’s personality, and joint activities bring them closer together).

Seventh, analyze typical complaints. If they systematically come from different parents, perhaps the teacher should change some aspects in his relationship with parents or communication with children.

Eighth, it is very important to remain open to criticism and willingness to change. The teacher must remember: the professional task of the teacher is the ability to “translate” the ethics of communication to parents and teach them to do the same.

Conflicts in kindergarten are inevitable, but the success of the functioning of an educational institution depends on how timely and correctly they are resolved. Educators and preschool management should pay attention to the causes of conflicts, eliminate them, and formulate the right strategy for exiting such situations. Most parents and educators understand that the only correct and best way out is not continuous confrontation or passive inaction, but serious and thoughtful cooperation. Listening to each other and acting together is not easy work, but it is fully rewarded by the harmonious development and happiness of our children.

Literature:

1. Zvereva O. L., Krotova T. V. Communication between a teacher and parents in a preschool educational institution: Methodological aspect. - M.: TC Sfera, 2007. - 80 p.
2. Svirskaya L. Working with the family: optional instructions: A manual for employees of preschool educational institutions. - M.: LINKA-PRESS, 2007. - 176 p.
3. Rakhmatshaeva V. A. Grammar of communication. (School for parents.) - M., “Family and School”, 1995.
4. Pedagogical interaction in kindergarten. Methodological manual / Edited by N.V. Miklyaeva. - M.: TC Sfera, 2013. - 128 p. (Library of the journal “Preschool Education Management”).

Key terms
(automatically generated)
: parent, child, kindergarten, conflict, teacher, preschool, friend, conflict situation, teacher, cause of conflict.

Misbehavior of adults during children's conflicts

Many parents and some educators make serious mistakes by reacting incorrectly to children's conflicts. There are several types of erroneous actions. The most common is non-intervention. If an adult knows that the child knows how to argue correctly, then there is no need to intervene. However, it is worth watching what is happening. After all, if the conflict enters an active phase and the child cannot cope on his own, leaving this situation without intervention is absolutely wrong.

This method of avoidance is also erroneous. To end a conflict with the teacher or children in kindergarten, parents often transfer their child to another preschool institution. But the problem cannot be solved this way. Everything will repeat itself again after some time when some crisis moment arises. This position of the parents will not teach the child to resolve disputes on his own; on the contrary, he will consider this the norm and in adult life will constantly avoid conflicts, leaving them unresolved.

Impulsive and hot-tempered people are prone to the mistake of active confrontation. They are always ready to go on the offensive, protecting their child, but they often do not understand who is right and who is wrong. This behavior from parents can frighten children. In addition, children may come to the conclusion that this is how conflict should be resolved in kindergarten.

Forbidding communication with the offender is not the best way out of a conflict situation. Children (especially preschool age) are capable of frequent showdowns, but they quickly forget and forgive grievances. Unfortunately, there are not isolated cases when kindergarten teachers publicly punish offending children. Such punishment leads to the formation of low self-esteem. You need to talk to your child alone.

Before taking any action during quarrels between children, adults should think for at least a minute. Any wrong decision can negatively affect the child’s future and his adaptation in society.

Conflict Prevention

Parents are primarily responsible for preventing conflict situations. They must understand that it is impossible to completely avoid disagreements between peers in kindergarten. According to child psychologists, this should not be done. By entering into conflict, the baby learns to find a way out of difficult situations, and this is an important prerequisite for successful socialization.

Adults must teach their child how to argue correctly. Games are suitable for this purpose. Playing together develops skills such as the ability to distribute responsibilities, act in concert, and look for common solutions. From this point of view, role-playing games (hospital, store, school, car wash, etc.) are useful. In addition, you can use non-game type techniques. These include greetings and forgiveness, conducting a dialogue about impressions of the game.

The roles should be assigned by the parent, while the baby can be given the opportunity to set the beginning and end of the game. The child should always be listened to carefully and taught to convey his feelings and experiences. Love for the baby must be adequate, that is, you must control your own emotions. The baby should feel loved, but not consider himself special. We need to teach him to make concessions to others.

There is no need to be upset that your child had an argument with someone in kindergarten. It is important to take an interest in his life and show by your own example how to behave correctly in conflict situations.

Tags:Kindergarten, Conflict, Parents

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Methods for resolving conflicts in children's relationships

Bibliographic description:

Maksimova, M.V. Methods for resolving conflicts in children's relationships / M.V. Maksimova. — Text: direct // Questions of preschool pedagogy. — 2020. — No. 3 (6). — P. 168-171. — URL: https://moluch.ru/th/1/archive/41/1327/ (date of access: 10.10.2020).


In childhood, there are a great many conflict situations and many of them can sometimes be difficult to understand. All children's quarrels usually resolve themselves, and therefore they should be treated as natural phenomena of life. Small skirmishes and quarrels can be regarded as the first life lessons of interaction with people of the same circle (equals), with the outside world, a stage of learning by trial and error, which a child cannot do without.

Adults should not get involved in children's quarrels unless absolutely necessary. They need to learn how to get out of controversial situations on their own and end conflicts.

The task of adults is to teach children some rules of life among other people, which include the ability to express their desire, listen to the desire of another, and come to an agreement. At the same time, the child must be an equal participant in this process, and not just blindly obey the demands of an adult or stronger partner, find a way out of the current situation, and options for resolving the conflict. [5].

Conflict resolution is:

‒ minimization of problems separating the parties, carried out through the search for compromise, reaching agreement

‒ elimination in whole or in part of the causes that gave rise to the conflict

‒ changing the goals of the parties to the conflict

‒ reaching an agreement on a controversial issue between the participants

In resolving children's conflicts, the teacher ensures that a “common language” is found, which is the result of achieving understanding.

When becoming a mediator in resolving children's conflicts, the teacher must take into account their characteristic features:

‒ When resolving a conflict situation, the teacher bears professional responsibility for the correct resolution of the conflict situation.

‒ Adults and children have different social status, which determines their different behavior in conflict and during its resolution

‒ The difference in age and life experience separates the positions of an adult and a child, giving rise to different degrees of responsibility for mistakes

‒ Different understanding of events and their causes by the participants, the conflict through the eyes of educators and children is seen differently

‒ The presence of other children during a conflict turns them from witnesses into participants, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning

‒ The professional position of the educator is to take the initiative to resolve the conflict and put the interests of the emerging personality first.

- Children's conflicts are easier to prevent than to successfully resolve.

The teacher’s type of behavior when resolving conflicts can be

‒ Authoritarian - this teacher more often notes the need to instill emotional-volitional qualities in children: perseverance, discipline, initiative, obedience, independence, hard work. What upsets them most about children is their lack of discipline, noisiness, loudness, inability to behave in class, restlessness, lack of concentration, and inability to listen. Most often, this teacher can hear the statements “Stop it!”, “Put it down!”, “Don’t run!”, “Don’t fight!”, “We must do this!”

‒ Democratic - this teacher believes that it is important to cultivate moral qualities in children: responsiveness, kindness, justice, honesty, politeness. They are upset by the children's lack of friendliness and goodwill towards peers, inability to make friends, play together, inattention, unwillingness to come to the aid of a friend, dishonesty and cruelty. The teacher adheres to the position of equal partnership, ensures mutual trust and creates good conditions for discussing any problem

‒ An anarchist-permissive teacher is one who does not have a special education; his choice of profession is random.

In pedagogical practice, three main strategies for resolving conflicts can be distinguished. [6].

1. Ignoring strategy. There is no doubt that preschoolers gain some experience of social conflict, but they hardly gain experience of social reconciliation. If you do not help the warring parties to hear and understand each other, they themselves, as a rule, do not learn to do so. A fight is an extremely fierce point of conflict, and the vast majority of fighters themselves do not understand why they are drawn to fight. So if children's fights are ignored, they will recur again and again. And most importantly, children's souls will be corroded by a growing feeling of mutual hatred.
2. Strategy of suppression and punishment. The simplest and most common strategy: scold the fighters, send them to the corners, roughly punish them, call their parents. This strategy leads to the fact that obvious conflicts fade away, but some preschoolers conclude from this that they need to sort things out with their fists secretly, in a secluded place. A conflict that is not resolved within the group will continue abroad. And for some children, a fight will be a sign of additional heroism: it is not only a fight with each other, but also a fight in absentia with an adult punishing them [1].
3. Cooperation strategy . The most complex and most effective strategy consists in the fact that an adult helps children understand their internal experiences that led to the conflict, and together with them tries to invent and test various methods of reconciliation. You can, of course, situationally reconcile quarreling children with some universal pedagogical move - for example, captivate them with a game or some truly interesting joint activity. But only when the conflict is not too deep. True, in any case, the experience of such reconciliation is obviously superficial and helps only situationally. After all, conflict is just a marker of some kind of internal tension that preschoolers experience. Especially if conflicts are renewed again and again, if the child is characterized by increased conflict.

When resolving a conflict, the teacher must:

‒ firstly, to recognize the existence of opposing goals among the parties to the conflict, to identify these participants themselves. In practice, these issues are quite easy to resolve based on external manifestations, since in a conflict, preschoolers react very emotionally to what is happening and themselves report the conflict.

‒ secondly, to identify the range of issues that constitute the subject of the conflict. The main problem is to define in shared terms what is in conflict and what is not. At this stage, approaches to the conflict are developed, the positions of the parties are identified, points of greatest disagreement and points of possible convergence of positions are determined.

When resolving a conflict, the teacher bears professional responsibility for the correct resolution of the conflict situation: kindergarten is a model of society where students learn social norms of relationships between people.

Different understandings of events and their causes by the participants, the conflict through the eyes of the teacher and children is seen differently. The presence of other preschoolers during a conflict turns them from witnesses into participants, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning.

The professional position of the teacher is to take the initiative to resolve the conflict and put the interests of the emerging personality first. But still, children's conflicts are easier to prevent than to successfully resolve. Since the teacher is assigned the role of an observer-mediator, his main goal is a targeted impact on eliminating the causes that gave rise to the conflict, preventing the behavior of the conflict participants, ensuring a normal exchange of predominantly verbal actions of the conflict participants, so that they listen and hear each other through the one between them. Therefore, for a teacher in a conflict, what is important is not the subject and material of the conflict itself, but the formal side of the interaction, i.e. its organization. [2]. Conflicts in a children's team are easier to prevent than to resolve. The most promising way to prevent conflicts is in the early stages, at the stage of their inception. Signs of the emergence of conflicts can be: clashes between children, violation of discipline, name-calling, pestering, violation of rules in games, alienation of the child from the group, protracted showdown. The teacher is obliged to pay attention to every such touch and take measures to prevent an emerging conflict. At a certain time, a group of children needs to be formed, ensured and maintained in the group with a healthy moral and psychological climate, respectful attitude towards the individual, his merits and individual characteristics, self-criticism, goodwill, organization of productive activities, and high authority of the teacher. The teacher must notice undesirable behavioral tendencies and rebuild them not by order, but psychologically, using joint games and activities. The personal example of a teacher who avoids judgments and assessments that infringe on the child’s dignity is very important (assessments should concern only the actions of children). A very important aspect of education is the development of self-control - this is when individual behavior corresponds to certain standards, rules, regulators that have been established in a given society. A number of principles can be identified according to which a teacher can influence this process: Children are more willing to respond to adults’ arguments if they have mutual affection and trust each other. Children are less aggressive with parents who provide them with emotional support.

Educational techniques are more effective when their effect is permanent rather than temporary. A positive effect is achieved if adults do not disagree on issues of discipline.

Learning occurs more easily when the process is dominated by rewards for positive actions or statements, and punishments are used in extreme cases. Disciplinary actions cease to be effective if you constantly scold a child, regardless of what and how he did. Physical punishment should be excluded. Excessively strict, humiliating and cruel punishments do not have a positive effect, since they provoke opposition, a feeling of alienation and aggressive behavior on the part of the child. [4].

One of the areas of the teacher’s pedagogical activity should be the development of children’s communication skills with peers, for this the following are used:

‒ role-playing games (including those involving a problematic situation)

‒ simulation games (simulating in its pure form any human process)

‒ interactive games (games for interaction) - socio-behavioral trainings (aimed at teaching a model of constructive behavior in resolving a conflict situation)

‒ playing out conflict situations and modeling ways out of them - psycho-gymnastics

‒ reading and discussing works of art

‒ viewing and analysis of fragments of animated films with subsequent modeling of new versions

- discussions.

Literature:

1. Antsupov A. Ya., Shipilov A. I. Conflictology. - M.: Unity, 2000. - 545 p.
2. Bozhovich L. I. Problems of personality formation / Ed. D. I. Feldstein - M.: Institute of Practical Psychology, Voronezh: NPO MODEK, 1997. - 380 p.
3. Valeev G. Kh. Methodology and methods of psychological and pedagogical research: A textbook for 3rd–5th year students of pedagogical universities. - M.: Academy, 2002. - 134 p.
4. Raising children through play: A manual for kindergarten teachers / Comp. A. K. Bondarenko, A. I. Matusik. - M.: Education, 1983. - 210 p.
5. Grishina N.V. Psychology of conflict. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001. - 320 p.
6. Gromova O. N. Conflictology: Course of lectures. - M.: Tandem, 2000.–316 p.

Key terms
(automatically generated)
: conflict, child, teacher, conflict resolution, educational meaning, conflict situation, positive effect, correct resolution of a conflict situation, professional responsibility, different understanding of events.